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Report on four wine tastings

Today I begin a journey, not just of discovery, but endurance. I have set up four wine tastings starting at 10 am, which my waiter last night told me was absolute insanity. I will report back, but wish me luck as I begin this marathon

Update 1 [8:34 am]: I ate a bagel to carb load to prepare my body

Update 2 [10:33 am]: this is so much better than nature. I should have skipped the redwoods and done another tasting #knowyourself

Update 3 [11:17 am]: first vineyard was dope and they comped my tasting. I am buzzed but not dead

Update 4 [1:35 pm]: I went in a cart through the vineyards and it was dope

Update 5 [2:08 pm]:

Yeah

Update 5 [sic] [2:33 pm]: apparently vineyards are like medieval Europe where different wine families marry into each other and children can become the heirs to two different vineyards

Update 7 [3:01 pm]: a lot of anti government sentiment among the winemakers here. These are hardcore [JMB]’s people at the mom and pop places in the mountains which make farm to table wines, don’t believe in masks (all vaccinated mind you) and bitch about the California state regulations

Update 8 [3:28 pm]: [Editor’s Note: redacted for filesize limits to respect the privacy rights of strangers unnecessarily documented without their consent]

Update 9 [4:21 pm]: I am at the 4th vineyard. I am not fucked beyond belief and could do a 5th. I am a master of endurance

Update 10 [6:44 pm]: I am done the tour. I had water and I am perfectly fine, barely an inconvenience. Not only have I endured, I have thrived. I’m going to dinner momentarily and I might have 2-3 glasses of wine as a fucking encore. Come at me nerds

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