Unlike countless sitcom characters, I have never dreamed of owning my own bar or restaurant. However, in the INTBiQ-affiliated discord server (of which you, dear reader, are likely aware), fellow intellectual MD recently “joked” about one day using his position of power to force subordinates into starting a microbrewery in his hometown. That was when I had a #MeToo moment and realized that I could never stand by and be left out of the fun of owning my own brewery. After the other intellectuals in the server implicitly concluded that my brewery would have the greater potential for success and provided wonderful suggestions on names for my brews, I have the beginnings for not only my own brewery, but my own bar with exclusive drinks from Just My Brewery™. I present to you the first draft of the menu:
Juicy Malt Beverages (Beer)
- Just Makin’ Beer
- Pale lager | 4.8% | EB | $6
- Just Micro Brew
- Indian pale ale | 5.4% | PD | $6
- Joe’s Manly Beer
- Stout | 5.4% | $7
- Judicial Milk Brau
- Witbier | 9.5% | EB | $8
- January Mountain Battle
- Lager | 9.1% | $8
- Jank Marijuana Buds
- Sour | 4.20% | $4.69
- Jerkwater Meth Breath
- Cream ale | 5.3% | $6
- Junkie Michigan Bitches
- Irish red ale | 9.7% | $8
Jazzy Mixed Beverages (Cocktails)
- Juniper Musk Booze
- Juniper, gin, a sense of class superiority | TT | $17
- Jacobin Magazine Booze
- (Vodka, coffee liqueur, cream), a sense of class superiority | $16
- Justice May Blind
- Moonshine, lemon twist | $13
- Juridical Mouth Bubbly
- Brandy, soda, lifetime job security | $14
- Jail Menu Blend
- Vodka, orange juice, lifetime behind bars | EB | $13
- Jolly Mister Buckeye
- Eggnog, peanut shavings, chocolate syrup | $14
- Jupiter Mission Believer
- (Vodka, triple sec, cranberry juice, fresh lime juice), mushrooms | $15
- June Men Betrothed
- (Vodka, peach schnapps, orange juice and cranberry juice), yes homo | $19
Jolts of Mighty Beverages (Shots)
- Jalapeño Monster Buster
- Tequila | TT | $5
- Jihadi Mecca Bomb
- Arak | $7.20
- Jack My Buds
- Jack Daniels® Tennessee Whiskey | PD | $5
- Jaundice Matey’s Beard
- Captain Morgan® Original Spiced Rum | $5
- Japanese Mutated Brachiosaurus
- Sake | MD | ¥535
- Jotunheim Meets Bardo
- Malört | $4
- Jewish Matzah Ball
- Sabra | $4.99
- Julian Misses Brady
- Rye | $6